There is freedom.
Freedom is something I haven't quite managed to wrap my head around just yet. Freedom from the chains that held me back for so long. Freedom to let go, and trust God with everything. Every hurt, question, growing pain, need, want, fear, insecurity... just to be free.
It's hard to process these last few months. They have been some of the hardest, but most joyful months of my life. I'm in program that I know God placed me in for a purpose. Multiple purposes. It's so hard for me to process everything. I can't even put it into writing most of the time, and that's the number one way I can express without getting my words all flip flopped. I was told that maybe God didn't intend for me to figure it out... He just wants me to let go, and trust Him. Let go. That is not easy. I like to be in control, and I know I can't be when it comes to my relationship with God. And let's be honest... He's a lot better at working me through the hard times than if I try to on my own.
Tonight I felt God speak so clearly to me. I've got "thorns" in my heart from the hurt that I need to remove... correction... I need to let HIM remove.
Okay... I'm clearly not doing a fantastic job at putting this all into words. At some point I'd really like to write down this whole journey... of course... I'll be writing for the rest of my life because a relationship with God isn't a race. It's not about getting to that key point, and stopping. It's a journey. :)
